It's been a little while coming, the one thing I wondered how I would bear, since I most likely would not be there for it. The kids and I have been talking about it, the first death that would occur in they house they've grown up in.
She was a good dog, a pound runt with great tall-grass spirit. Her life, I think, damaged by the tension of our household. She became a nervous licker and chewer of her own skin, a living lesson for me in how the toxins of my own angers and disappointments registering on others, day-by-day. My first great disappointment in myself, looking at that scaled and dried armor, that I could not somehow be happier for her benefit, available to comb her every day and remind her that she was important and loved.
I last looked in her eyes Sunday evening and saw the departure was imminent. I wanted to know if she felt my love for her. In her eyes, only the grey shades of exhaustion.
She was a good dog, a pound runt with great tall-grass spirit. Her life, I think, damaged by the tension of our household. She became a nervous licker and chewer of her own skin, a living lesson for me in how the toxins of my own angers and disappointments registering on others, day-by-day. My first great disappointment in myself, looking at that scaled and dried armor, that I could not somehow be happier for her benefit, available to comb her every day and remind her that she was important and loved.
I last looked in her eyes Sunday evening and saw the departure was imminent. I wanted to know if she felt my love for her. In her eyes, only the grey shades of exhaustion.
Comments
She knew that she was loved, animals are way more sensitive in that way than we humans are, and don't carry that load of guilt on your shoulders my friend.
Best wishes, god speed Maggie.