5.14.2007

Some days my mind is made up for me

For example, as I'm ironing a shirt under a foggy morning. The absence of children makes it too quiet. I am back in my house, after weeks away, alone. I've been asked to steep in transience for a little too long, and in the moment there seems like no place I go that isn't borrowed.

This morning I heard one aunt is recovering from surgery. A friend's mother is recovering memories after a series of strokes, only recognizes the disaffected daughter. Another aunt wonders by text message if my mother is on the Alaskan cruise ship that had to be abandoned last night. In the headlines I have had scientifically computed for me there is, under the seemly subject of science itself, news of a 5-year old girl giving birth. The condition is called precocious puberty. Her father was arrested but released for lack of evidence. No one expects the girl to know the baby's actual father.

The gray San Francisco morning reminds me of London. I am pumping a smile and elevated energy into my students. I don't want to admit it to myself, but I am hoping quite keenly they will give some back.

On the ferry this morning, Macbeth's witches are sitting near the coffee bar, cackling, enumerating wigs and lipsticks. There are twin brothers on the deck, strapping men with thinning hair and Norse jaws. They have always lived at least one bridge apart, I imagine, so as not to warp the fabric of the world. They are glassy-eyed and built to throw javelins, mechanical Zeus replicas.

Sometimes my thoughts are so conflicted I forget the why of eating. This morning I did it anyway. It was an exercise in staving off.

5 comments:

vikkitikkitavi said...

"There are twin brothers on the deck, strapping men with thinning hair and Norse jaws. They have always lived at least one bridge apart, I imagine, so as not to warp the fabric of the world."

This reminded me of the towers of your famous bridge over there, which I understand are several inches out of perpendicular in order to allow for the curvature of the freakin' earth. Thinking about that always makes me want to hide under my desk, or jump in my car and drive away from all signs of humanity. I'm not really sure why.

michael said...

The towers of the Golden Gate appear to be on deck from a select seat on the ferry... ;)

Skylers Dad said...

"precocious puberty" - Oh my God, that sounds just terrible...

GETkristiLOVE said...

"No one expects the girl to know who the baby's actual father."

Dare I mention that I proofread on the side for sushi?

Skylers Dad said...

GKL: Do you proofread on the front and back also?

Bada boom!