Mobile Dog Massage

Starting my walk home from where I work out, this offer appeared on a shiny, upscale, environmentally responsible European compact in the lot. Now while I'm not so much a numbers guy, I can't imagine how dog massage pays for that car, much less the practitioner.

But that's the Marin County I most enjoy remembering, the one that Cyra McFadden lampooned in Serial. It's also the time and place where I first started reading personal ads, in a local rag called the Pacific Sun.

Back then the PS took itself quite seriously. Their readers took them seriously. I recall one article covering new shopkeepers in San Anselmo, designing their "Exploration Space so that, spiritually, it felt suspended by a cord to the middle of the earth." I remember reading about some noveau fashion designers seeking spiritual fulfillment through ivory-free buttons and French seams. And I remember one personal that read, more or less:

Single man 38 ISO SF 26-35, understands true commitment and respect, seeks spiritual furtherance in her daily life through union and intersection, growth through studies in inner peace, peace through sacrifice and grace through giving. Financially stable, car a must. Write to Inmate J40716, PO 26, San Quentin, CA.

For the 20somethings out there, a quick glossary:

spirituality -> Get high, after hours
seeking spiritual fulfillment -> Getting more money for drugs
spiritual furtherance -> You have drugs and you'll bring them on your legally valid conjugal visits

We had dog psychologists back then. The scam of "recovered memory" therapy was just taking hold. People went way off The Man's hiking trails on Mt. Tam to get in touch with the butchered Miwoks [sic] of the past and perform atonement rituals. In a completely unrelated matter, a well-funded program to abate the feral pig population up there also took shape.

So while doggie massage seems pedestrian by comparison, it's a sign. This county looks to have way, way, WAY too much time on its hands, it's going to put all of it into the touchy-feelies an overprivileged life can afford, and it doesn't care who notices.

I'll keep you posted. I can't write funnier stuff than this reality right here.


Skylers Dad said...

I went to a chiropractor years ago that was also a breeder of St Bernard dogs. She had 12 of them, lived in a small house with hardly any yard!

She always offered to adjust my dogs if I brought them in. Nice lady, but kinda out there...

vikkitikkitavi said...

Got too much to say on this. Must post and link.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Union and intersection. That's dead sexy.

cheer34 said...

At the risk of sounding ignorant, I am not sure what the issue is.